Recovery Spotlight: Justin Frazier

My name is Justin Frazier and I’m an alcoholic. Being an alcoholic has been the best thing that has happened to me. Although I didn’t think so for several years. Being an alcoholic has given me a relationship with God; which is the most important relationship in my life today. I plug into God’s power instead of my own. Growing up I never felt content. Always wanted to be somewhere else until I was there. Then I wanted to be somewhere different until the first time I got drunk. I don’t remember the first time I had caffeine or a whole lot of other firsts but I remember the first time I got drunk. I was at a friend’s house and he offered me a spiced rum and Coke. As I started to drink it, the magic happened. For the first time, I can remember I was content. I had found what I thought I was looking for. I was perfectly content. The fear melted away and I felt free. I remember telling my friend that I wanted to stay drunk forever. Now at that point I didn’t become a daily drinker. However, when I did drink one of three things happened; I blacked out, ran out or passed out. I didn’t realize this at the time but everything important in my life came after alcohol. I played basketball all throughout school except when I started drinking. I didn’t even try out. My coach the previous year had said to me I could possibly get a scholarship if I stayed with it. My life revolved around partying. I had a lot of fun for the first few years. Then I started to have some problems but nothing too major in my mind. I couldn’t be trusted. I never showed up and all meaningful relationships were pushed away. I did of lot of things I’m not proud of. I was raised right with a good sense of direction. I threw that out the window repeatedly. Eventually I ended up in jail do to my actions. I was introduced to 12 step meetings there and swore off alcohol forever. Within 20 minutes of being discharged I was high. Within 24 hours I had gotten into a bar fight I don’t remember. I didn’t do any changing. I was the same person and what I now realize was alcohol was my solution to life. Sobriety was not something I could do. This continued for 4 more years. Periods of sobriety than a relapse. I planned relapses. I tried everything I could to try and drink successfully. I tried every idea I had with how to stay sober. Nothing worked. I couldn’t live with alcohol and I could not live without it. At that point I surrendered and decided to work the 12 steps. I went through the 12 steps in my life changed through this process the alcohol and drug problem was removed. I don’t know when it was removed because I didn’t remove it. God did! Through this process I have formed a deep and meaningful relationship with God. That is the most important relationship in my life. That is my solution today. I plug into a power that works. I have peace today and have not picked up a drink or drug since May 2012. I am content where I am at and with what I have. The relationships that I have today are meaningful and real. Creating memories with friends and family. I’m overpaid. I can’t put a price tag on that. It’s priceless. This journey has not always been easy. I’ve had numerous hardships. The most recent one was my brother overdosed and died from this disease. Through this tragic passing I have found peace. I know he is in a better place where he doesn’t have to struggle anymore. God has carried me through this hard time. Today God is my everything. My success is contingent on my spiritual condition. If I’m plugging into God, my life is a success. Every day I report to Him and ask Him to use me to advance his kingdom. I’m not perfect. There is still a lot of work that needs to be done. In closing I’d like to share this. Two weeks before my brother’s passing, me and Josh got into a fight. It got a little ugly. We both said things we wish we didn’t. I was burned up about it but didn’t think about it for a couple of days. I was out working at an auto auction and I ran into a friend who was also in the program. I asked him how he was doing. He replied that he was struggling with the resentment that he didn’t know he had for a while. During this talk, it may be realized that I had a resentment towards Josh. I immediately called my brother and had a great talk with him. We both said I love you to each. I am in awe of His power. I’m grateful that I could say I love you and have our last conversation be one of love and not hate. God orchestrated that. Today I have found what I’m looking for. A solution for life that works. There is one who has all power may you find Him now.